Raising my kid!

A child brings in immense joy, responsibilities, tantrums, along with them! With every tear that they could ever give a parent, they bring in countless happiness! When I state tear, it could not be meaning a drop of water from the eyes! It could just mean the sleepless nights, the pain, or anything. Isn't it? I am sure you all agree.

I have a four year old. And I love her. Her hands around my neck, her wet kisses and her saying "I love you, mommy", is enough to make my day real good! She is well raised. She would keep away her toys, helps me around the house, brushes her own teeth, compassionate and kind. But still there are things I like doing for her. Like carrying her out of the door every day when she is ready for school upto the elevator. I like carrying her bag or her, when she arrives from school! I love feeding her food. So what? Big deal? I don't think so!

This comes in since I was just reading about someone literally pointing out if parents should actually carry the school bags of their kids! The answer is "Its not required to". But yes, there's no harm in doing it! As an outsider, no one knows how the child behaves in real life. Parents carrying the school bag doesn't imply that the child is weak and not capable of doing so. It also doesn't mean that parents are doing it because someone else's parents are also doing it! That was absolutely ridiculous comparison I have ever heard! I'm leaving behind the harmful effects of carrying heavy bags on the back of the little ones. That is something everyone already know of I believe.

The simple philosophy is - "If you don't like it, you don't do it". But don't try to impose your thoughts on the rest. Love means different things to different people. The definition is not the same. And why should it be? Someone pointed out that parents feed their children even when they are 8 or 9 years old! Why not?

When I was raised, my parents never carried my bag. But yes, my parents did spoon-feed me even when I was 15, or maybe more! So what? I am still a self-reliant, confident and self-made person. My parent's gesture of feeding me, only made be believe more that they loved me! No matter what, a basic necessity of life is being taken care of! So why not? Why shouldn't I be doing somethings that makes my bond stronger with my child? 

Providing money so that the kids have food on the table, taking a home loan and providing them with a roof, spending money on them for toys and dresses is not parenting to me. Providing love -  a sense of acceptance, selfless, kind - that's parenting for me. No, it doesn't mean that I don't teach her difference between the right and the wrong. I do. I teach her not scrutinize her!

My kid's friend in school was one day saying something like locking up another kid in the store room! I was terrified. How did that little girl even think of something like that? Obviously, that must be the punishment her parents suggest when she ill-behaves! For my kid, I do not believe in being in-human. I am stern with a few rules around the house which is enough. I do not need to be a hitler and send her to a "No-Fun" zone. That seriously doesn't work. 

I just want my child to have fond memories of me always. Not be scared of me. Why? I as a parent, do not wish to be a tiger! A child already has too many unruly fears. Why should I be one? Parent needs to be the comfort zone so that the child can grow well and flourish. The environment has to conducive for them. And these little acts of love makes them feel wanted.

I am not parenting expert. These are my personal thoughts. If child misbehaves, parents need to look into themselves. It must definitely be something in them that's bothering the child. Attention or love deficit makes a child throw tantrums. It is not the child at fault, its us, the parents!