Winning over people - specially the in-laws!
Marriage is game we play blind-folded! The people we know else otherwise tend to be very different when they become your spouse and/or in-laws! More so in a love-marriage, where we give-in to our hormones and take decisions real quick. Mine, was a love-marriage and with it came host of other problems, I was not prepared to or looking forward to deal with!
Marriage happened. Spouse is great, till date! But inlaws, problems started real quick. I always felt my mother-in-law never had a liking towards me. That from the very first day I met her! However, ever since I got married, I tried hard to win her over. Things get more difficult when you also have a sister-in-law! One, who would keep poking the MIL's head every single day. Fortunately (or unfortunately), Mine was those types.
Every update in Facebook, my SIL made sure she read it out to my MIL. Every single picture of mine, she would show! The spice part, I'm sure you understand! I am someone who had been brought up in a liberal family but family values deeply instilled in my veins. I wear shorts and still pray every single day! I fight with my family and still, love them more than myself! So, life was starting to get really bothersome for me with such a poker-nose SIL! Then what, I blocked her out of my social networking site! Step 1!! It is important to be at peace with our self first!
Once blocked, she had to come back to me! So she found other ways to make my life hell. By this time, I was settled in my married life. Had a baby and was busy nurturing my family, than giving any damn to any rubbernecks! In one thing I had always believed. Be yourself. Step 2. People got to know the real me. And whether they like me or not is entirely their problem! So I was always myself. Whenever I was at my in-laws place, I was dressed appropriately so as not to have anyone point fingers at my family! I never misbehaved with them either. One thing for sure is, I never held back my thoughts! Step 3. If I had an issue with anyone, I spoke to them. I believe its useless to keep ruminating over things and getting annoyed. Life is simple if we just talk out our feelings! So I did. I didn't wanted to pass my whole life disliking my in-laws or having any sort of negative thoughts for them. So I called for a family meeting.
We discussed our issues. I asked them what was it that bothered them about me? And I told them what bothered me. Things worked. My FIL assured, we would have a new beginning. And we did.
That was in my fifth year of marriage. And this is my seventh year! This time, when my in-laws visited us, my MIL, for the first time in seven years, praised me! She had the feeling that I was able to manage my family very well and that everyone was happy! At first, I was not sure I was hearing it right! But I was! She actually praised me!
Things have changed. Time has healed us. We have moved on. And even though I am the same person I always was, my in laws sees the best in me now! I do not mind. Isn't seven years better than living whole life with bitterness within us? Winning them was not easy, is the least to say. The worst that could ever happen is, we could fail! But at least we can say, we tried! So, I tried and convincingly succeeded.
Now MIL actually goes about showing off my skills to everyone else around her. She likes to sing praise of me! She helps me around the kitchen too when she is around. As for my SIL, we made peace. She is married and I wished her the best!
MIL-DIL relationship is difficult. We share the same male - her son is my spouse! And I never interfere into that zone. He would always be my spouse, the same way he always has to be the son! Now, my MIL too would ask me to go out with my spouse, and actually ask me to enjoy. Not her words, but at least her face makes me believe, things have actually changed between us.
We, the daughter in laws(DIL) should also try, try to be atleast friendly with our MILs. Sometimes, its the cold vibes that makes things appear wrong. It could just be who would be the first to say! So I took a decision. I spoke. Courage didn't fail me. I had my spouse's back!
Hoping, in the years to come, we have a cordial relationship. These seven years had taught me many things, specially how to win the people who matter, to speak up, to mend relationships, to just be myself! Victory always favors the truth! And in my case, it did!
Marriage happened. Spouse is great, till date! But inlaws, problems started real quick. I always felt my mother-in-law never had a liking towards me. That from the very first day I met her! However, ever since I got married, I tried hard to win her over. Things get more difficult when you also have a sister-in-law! One, who would keep poking the MIL's head every single day. Fortunately (or unfortunately), Mine was those types.
Every update in Facebook, my SIL made sure she read it out to my MIL. Every single picture of mine, she would show! The spice part, I'm sure you understand! I am someone who had been brought up in a liberal family but family values deeply instilled in my veins. I wear shorts and still pray every single day! I fight with my family and still, love them more than myself! So, life was starting to get really bothersome for me with such a poker-nose SIL! Then what, I blocked her out of my social networking site! Step 1!! It is important to be at peace with our self first!
Once blocked, she had to come back to me! So she found other ways to make my life hell. By this time, I was settled in my married life. Had a baby and was busy nurturing my family, than giving any damn to any rubbernecks! In one thing I had always believed. Be yourself. Step 2. People got to know the real me. And whether they like me or not is entirely their problem! So I was always myself. Whenever I was at my in-laws place, I was dressed appropriately so as not to have anyone point fingers at my family! I never misbehaved with them either. One thing for sure is, I never held back my thoughts! Step 3. If I had an issue with anyone, I spoke to them. I believe its useless to keep ruminating over things and getting annoyed. Life is simple if we just talk out our feelings! So I did. I didn't wanted to pass my whole life disliking my in-laws or having any sort of negative thoughts for them. So I called for a family meeting.
We discussed our issues. I asked them what was it that bothered them about me? And I told them what bothered me. Things worked. My FIL assured, we would have a new beginning. And we did.
That was in my fifth year of marriage. And this is my seventh year! This time, when my in-laws visited us, my MIL, for the first time in seven years, praised me! She had the feeling that I was able to manage my family very well and that everyone was happy! At first, I was not sure I was hearing it right! But I was! She actually praised me!
Things have changed. Time has healed us. We have moved on. And even though I am the same person I always was, my in laws sees the best in me now! I do not mind. Isn't seven years better than living whole life with bitterness within us? Winning them was not easy, is the least to say. The worst that could ever happen is, we could fail! But at least we can say, we tried! So, I tried and convincingly succeeded.
Now MIL actually goes about showing off my skills to everyone else around her. She likes to sing praise of me! She helps me around the kitchen too when she is around. As for my SIL, we made peace. She is married and I wished her the best!
MIL-DIL relationship is difficult. We share the same male - her son is my spouse! And I never interfere into that zone. He would always be my spouse, the same way he always has to be the son! Now, my MIL too would ask me to go out with my spouse, and actually ask me to enjoy. Not her words, but at least her face makes me believe, things have actually changed between us.
We, the daughter in laws(DIL) should also try, try to be atleast friendly with our MILs. Sometimes, its the cold vibes that makes things appear wrong. It could just be who would be the first to say! So I took a decision. I spoke. Courage didn't fail me. I had my spouse's back!
Hoping, in the years to come, we have a cordial relationship. These seven years had taught me many things, specially how to win the people who matter, to speak up, to mend relationships, to just be myself! Victory always favors the truth! And in my case, it did!
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